Moms Are at War Over Sleep Training

A Tulsa, Oklahoma mother implemented the “cry it out” sleep training method for her 16-week-old son following a pediatrician’s recommendation. Tara, a 37-year-old freelance artist and mother of four, used the “extinction” method to manage a situation where the infant woke every two hours while her husband was deployed to the Western Pacific.

What is the “cry it out” sleep training method?

Also known as the “extinction” method, cry it out is a form of sleep training where parents selectively ignore a baby’s cries at night. According to the account provided, the goal of this practice is to teach infants to fall asleep independently.

Did You Know? Tara’s husband, a Marine, was deployed to the Western Pacific for five months, leaving her to care for four sons under the age of 8 single-handedly.

Why did a Tulsa mother choose the extinction method?

Tara described her situation as unsustainable. Her youngest son, Davey, was 16 weeks old and waking every two hours during the night. Her pediatrician recommended the cry it out approach to address this exhaustion.

The process began at 8:30 p.m. after Tara nursed the infant and placed him in his crib. Once she left the room, the baby cried off and on for two hours.

How does “cry it out” differ from gentler sleep training?

Tara had previously sleep trained her older children using a gentler approach. In those instances, she visited the cribs every 20 minutes to provide a quick pat and verbal reassurance.

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The extinction method differs because parents completely resist the urge to check in on the child. Tara noted that this specific approach would likely take a larger emotional toll on her than her previous methods.

Expert Insight: Samantha Carter notes that the transition from a reassurance-based approach to the extinction method involves a significant trade-off between immediate parental emotional distress and the goal of infant sleep independence.

What may happen next for families using this method?

Parents who follow a pediatrician’s recommendation for the extinction method may see their children learn to fall asleep without intervention. However, the process could result in increased emotional stress for the caregiver during the initial training period.

Depending on the infant’s response, a parent might continue the method or return to more frequent check-ins if the emotional toll becomes too great.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is the “extinction” method?
It is a sleep training practice where parents selectively ignore a baby’s cries at night to teach them to fall asleep independently.

Who recommended this method to Tara?
The method was recommended by Davey’s pediatrician.

How did Tara previously sleep train her older children?
She used a gentler approach that involved visiting their cribs every 20 minutes to offer verbal reassurance and a quick pat.

How do you balance sleep training methods with your own emotional needs as a parent?