What I wish my manager knew about my mental health

The question came ten minutes before a job interview’s scheduled end: “So, that’s all behind you now, is it?” The query arose after a prospective employer discovered a video of the interviewee singing a song she had written – a video recorded while she was a patient in a psychiatric hospital. This seemingly innocuous question sparked a complex internal struggle, ultimately leading to a decision to downplay the ongoing nature of her mental health journey.

The Weight of Disclosure

The interviewee, Honor Eastly, found herself facing a dilemma. She wanted to explain that mental health is not a condition one simply “gets over,” but rather something that requires ongoing management. Instead, she offered a simplified response: “Oh yeah that was a while ago, I’m doing much better now.” While technically true – she had developed strategies for managing her depressive episodes, which began in her teenage years – it wasn’t the full picture. She was, in fact, experiencing an episode at the time of the interview.

Did You Know? Honor Eastly’s experiences led her to identify a pattern she calls the “honesty gap” – the need to strategically manage the disclosure of mental health experiences in professional settings.

This wasn’t an isolated incident. Eastly describes a pattern of “creative disclosure” throughout her career, minimizing or framing her mental health experiences as past issues to maintain her professional life. This practice, while enabling her to succeed, contributed to a cycle of overwork and a fear of appearing unreliable.

The Cost of Concealment

Eastly secured the job despite her employer’s awareness of the video. She performed well, even while navigating a difficult period with her mental health. She found herself meticulously crafting emails, simultaneously managing panic and concealing her ongoing communication with crisis support services. This constant pretense, she notes, is largely invisible to those around her, yet carries a significant emotional toll.

This pressure to appear consistently “high functioning” pushed Eastly into a pattern of exceptionalism, driving her to overwork as a way to compensate for perceived vulnerabilities. She later transitioned into the mental health field, but even then, discussing her mental health in the present tense proved challenging.

Finding a Path to Honesty

A turning point came with the creation of a memoir podcast, “No Feeling Is Final,” with the ABC. The podcast’s unexpected popularity meant that many of her future employers would already be aware of her mental health history. While this led to some awkwardness, it also opened the door to more authentic interactions in the workplace.

Expert Insight: The experience highlights the significant emotional labor often required of individuals managing mental health conditions in professional environments. The need to constantly assess the risks and benefits of disclosure can be exhausting and contribute to further stress.

Eastly recounts a recent experience leading a stressful project where she proactively informed her manager that her mental health was being impacted. She explained that if her condition worsened, she would need to step back from the project, and her manager readily agreed, having a contingency plan in place. This experience demonstrated the possibility of being honest about mental health without sacrificing professional competence.

What Might Happen Next

If more workplaces adopt a similar level of understanding and flexibility, individuals like Eastly may find it easier to navigate their careers while prioritizing their mental well-being. Increased openness could lead to a reduction in the stigma surrounding mental health in the workplace. However, it is also likely that some individuals will continue to feel the need to conceal their struggles due to fear of discrimination or negative consequences. A shift in workplace culture could also lead to more proactive mental health support systems being implemented, benefiting all employees.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is the “honesty gap”?

The “honesty gap” refers to the discrepancy between an individual’s actual experience with mental health and the version of that experience they present in a professional setting, often minimizing or framing it as a past issue.

How did creating a podcast impact Eastly’s professional life?

Creating the podcast “No Feeling Is Final” meant that future employers were often already aware of her mental health history, which opened the door to more honest conversations and reduced the need for concealment.

What was the outcome of Eastly’s conversation with her manager about her mental health?

Her manager was understanding and supportive, agreeing to have a “break-in-case-of-emergency” option and allowing Eastly to prioritize her well-being without jeopardizing the project’s success.

How can workplaces better support employees who are navigating mental health challenges while maintaining their careers?