Why We Treat Pets Like Children: The Psychology of Fur Parenthood

In a world where pets are increasingly being called “children,” psychologist Elena Gusueva sheds light on the complex dynamics reshaping modern family life. During a conversation in her office, where her dog Korzh lounged under the desk, Gusueva shared insights into how the lines between human and animal relationships are blurring—and the consequences that follow.

The trend of referring to pets as “son” or “daughter” has grown more common, with owners celebrating birthdays, dressing animals in outfits, and treating them as family members. But Gusueva warns that this shift isn’t just about affection—it’s a psychological phenomenon rooted in biology and unmet emotional needs.

“When we call a dog ‘son,’ we’re not just being sentimental,” Gusueva explains. “We’re projecting our own desires for connection and purpose onto them. It’s a way to fill a void, but it risks reducing the animal to a role it wasn’t meant to play.”

The Science of Connection

Gusueva points to the role of oxytocin, the “love hormone,” which is released when humans interact with puppies or kittens. This biological response mirrors the bond between a mother and newborn, creating a powerful emotional pull. But this chemistry can lead to overattachment, especially for those seeking validation or a sense of purpose.

“The same mechanisms that make us feel connected to a child can be triggered by a pet,” she says. “But animals don’t have the same emotional needs as humans. When we treat them as children, we’re fulfilling our own cravings—not theirs.”

Numbers That Speak Volumes

Statistical data underscores the shift. In 2023, Russia reported 49.2 million cats, and 25.5 million dogs, a significant increase from the 1.2 million children born in 2024. For many, pets offer a safer, less risky way to experience parenthood—especially when fears of parenting failures loom large.

“People come to me saying, ‘I want another child, but I’m afraid I’ll fail,'” Gusueva says. “A pet becomes a rehearsal for parenthood, but it’s not a substitute. The emotional risks are lower, but the underlying needs remain.”

The Hidden Cost of Attachment

While some relationships with pets are nurturing, others veer into control. Gusueva describes “servile tyranny,” where owners use their pets as emotional crutches, mirroring the dynamics of overprotective parenting. She recalls a couple who carried an adult dog like a child, limiting its freedom out of anxiety.

“It’s not love—it’s fear,” she says. “The pet becomes a prisoner of the owner’s unmet emotional needs, just as children can be trapped by overbearing parents.”

Gusueva’s own journey with Korzh reflects this duality. While she channels her childhood dreams into training the dog, she emphasizes respect for his autonomy. “If he doesn’t want to attend an event, I stop,” she says. “The bond should be mutual, not one-sided.”

Questions to Ponder

As the conversation ends, the question lingers: What does it mean when pets become stand-ins for human connection? Gusueva urges reflection. “Ask yourself: Are you meeting your own needs, or honoring the animal’s nature?”