SARAH VINE: The taboo truth about throuples… and the dark heart of what really happens in one
For Coronation Street actress Helen Flanagan, a connection rekindled with boxer David Haye led to a deeply unsettling experience, as detailed in her upcoming autobiography, Head & Heart. The relationship, which occurred while Haye was in an open relationship with Sian Osborne, reportedly contributed to a period of paranoia and distress for Flanagan.
A Troubled Reconnection
Flanagan and Haye initially met in 2012 during their appearances on “I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here!”. Ten years later, they reconnected at an awards ceremony, sparking a connection that ultimately led to a relationship. However, Flanagan soon learned that Haye and Osborne were pursuing a “throuple” arrangement – a polyamorous relationship involving three people.
The Impact on Flanagan
The relationship with Haye, described as traumatic, pushed Flanagan to the brink and ended negatively. She recounts an incident where Haye rejected a Cartier bracelet she gifted him for his birthday, stating, “All I want from you is your body.” Flanagan reflects on this moment, questioning whether she meant anything to him beyond a physical connection.
A Pattern of Behavior
This isn’t the first time Haye’s relationship style has drawn scrutiny. Singer Una Healy of The Saturdays previously expressed feeling “hoodwinked” after dating Haye while he was involved with Osborne. This suggests a pattern of engaging in relationships with existing partners, and a willingness to pursue open arrangements.
The Rise of “Throuples” and Ethical Non-Monogamy
The concept of a “throuple,” while not yet formally recognized in the Oxford English Dictionary, is gaining traction as a form of ethical non-monogamy. However, the experiences shared by Flanagan and Allen suggest that the reality of these arrangements can be far from ethical, often prioritizing one partner’s desires over the emotional well-being of others.
The accounts of Lily Allen and David Harbour, who also attempted an open marriage, further illustrate the potential for imbalance and hurt. Allen detailed discovering evidence of Harbour’s infidelity, including letters from other women, revealing a disregard for the agreed-upon boundaries.
Differing Perspectives on Sex and Relationships
The narrative suggests a fundamental difference in how men and women often approach sex and relationships. While acknowledging exceptions, the source posits that men are often biologically driven to seek multiple sexual partners, while women tend to prioritize a single, protective partner. The “throuple” arrangement, it argues, can be a way for men to indulge desires while appearing progressive.
Looking Ahead
It is possible that increased public discussion of these experiences will lead to greater awareness of the potential pitfalls of open relationships and the importance of clear communication and mutual respect. It is also possible that celebrities will be more cautious about entering into such arrangements, given the potential for negative publicity and emotional harm. However, it remains to be seen whether this will lead to a broader shift in societal attitudes towards non-monogamy.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is a “throuple”?
According to the source, a “throuple” is a polyamorous relationship involving three people who are romantically and/or sexually involved with each other. It is described as a form of ethical non-monogamy, though the experiences shared suggest it isn’t always practiced ethically.
How did Helen Flanagan’s relationship with David Haye affect her?
The source states that the relationship with Haye contributed to a period of heightened paranoia for Flanagan, leading her to believe she was being watched and that someone was trying to harm her. She ultimately describes the relationship as traumatic and damaging.
Has David Haye been involved in similar situations before?
Yes, the source details that Una Healy of The Saturdays also felt “hoodwinked” after dating Haye while he was in a relationship with Sian Osborne, suggesting a pattern of behavior.
Given these accounts, what are your thoughts on the complexities of modern relationships and the challenges of navigating non-traditional arrangements?