A rush of blood to the penis – and vaginal tenting: what happens to our bodies when we get turned on | Sex
What sparks attraction? The answer is deeply personal, but understanding the underlying physiological processes can shed light on what’s happening within our bodies when we experience arousal. For decades, the science of sex remained largely unexplored, shrouded in taboo. That began to change in the 1950s with the groundbreaking work of sexologists William Masters and Virginia Johnson, who even married in 1971.
The Four Stages of Arousal – and What Was Missing
Masters and Johnson developed a four-stage model of the sexual response cycle: arousal, plateau, orgasm, and resolution. However, as Dr. Angela Wright, a GP and clinical sexologist based in Yorkshire, points out, this model initially overlooked a crucial element: desire itself. “They came up with what’s known as the four-stage model, which was that the body gets aroused, you hit a plateau, you have an orgasm, you go back down to baseline,” says Wright.
Desire: Hunger or a Chance Encounter?
Subsequent research has focused on the origins of sexual desire. Interestingly, the experience of desire differs between sexes. In men, desire often resembles hunger – a direct physiological need. In women, particularly within established relationships, desire is more often triggered by environmental cues, akin to smelling bread and suddenly wanting to eat it. Approximately 75% of the time, Here’s how desire manifests in women, according to Dr. Wright.
The Role of Hormones and Behavior
This suggests that desire isn’t solely spontaneous. It’s influenced by both internal factors, such as hormone levels – testosterone and oestrogen play a role – and external stimuli. These stimuli can be sights, sounds, touch, memories, or emotional connections, all of which activate networks in the brain’s limbic system and hypothalamus.
Dr. Ben Davis, a GP specializing in sexual medicine and sex therapy for men, explains that these signals travel through the nervous system to the body. “Signals from sight, touch, memory, fantasy or emotional connection activate networks in the limbic system and hypothalamus in the brain, and those signals travel through the nervous system to the body.”
Mind vs. Body: How We Experience Arousal
The way individuals experience arousal varies. Some initially notice physical sensations – warmth, tingling, a racing pulse. Others require mental or emotional stimulation before a physical response occurs. Most experience a combination of both. Understanding whether you are more “body-first” or “mind-first” can enhance your sexual experiences.
Alix Fox, a journalist and PhD researcher in sexual wellbeing at University College London’s Institute for Global Health, emphasizes the complexity of arousal. “Sexual arousal is a much more multifaceted, complex process than the straightforward, feral response it’s often assumed to be,” says Fox. “Appreciating that can help us be kinder to ourselves if our libido isn’t functioning as we want it to, or we’re experiencing kinks that confuse us.”
The Body’s Response: From Nervous System to Physical Changes
Once initial signals are received, the parasympathetic nervous system – often called the “rest and digest” system – takes over. This triggers the release of nitric oxide, which relaxes smooth muscle and increases blood flow to the genitals, causing engorgement, lubrication, and heightened sensitivity. Simultaneously, neurochemicals like dopamine drive desire and motivation, while oxytocin fosters emotional connection and touch.
Differences in Male and Female Arousal
While the underlying mechanisms are similar, the physical response differs between sexes. In women, arousal can involve a phenomenon called “tenting,” where the uterus lifts and the upper vagina opens. There are two types of erections: reflex erections, which occur spontaneously to maintain tissue health, and those triggered by conscious desire or touch.
In men, increased blood flow swells the erectile tissue in the penis, compressing veins and trapping blood, resulting in an erection. In women, sustained blood flow is necessary to maintain a clitoral erection, which can explain why arousal may feel more fluctuating.
The Balancing Act of Neurotransmitters
A complex interplay of neurotransmitters – dopamine, oxytocin, noradrenaline, adrenaline, and acetylcholine – governs the sexual response, shifting throughout Masters and Johnson’s four stages. Dopamine fuels motivation and reward, adrenaline contributes to excitement, and oxytocin promotes bonding. Crucially, the sympathetic nervous system (“fight or flight”) must remain subdued; stress and anxiety can inhibit arousal by constricting blood vessels.
“Good sexual experience needs a certain amount of sympathetic arousal balanced with parasympathetic safety – you want to be excited rather than anxious,” says Davis. “If the sympathetic drive is too high – because of too much fear, or being hypervigilant to danger – it can kill arousal.”
What This Means for Your Wellbeing
If you’re feeling stressed, it’s understandable if your desire is low. Kate Moyle, psychosexual therapist and author of The Science of Sex, notes that “An overloaded brain, overthinking, stress or anxiety can all inhibit our ability to not only experience sexual arousal, but to give our attention to things that feel good enough to encourage it.”
Changes in desire can also signal underlying health issues. Women experiencing reduced sensation after menopause or breastfeeding may find it harder to experience arousal, and persistent changes in sexual function should be discussed with a doctor. Erectile difficulties can be early indicators of cardiovascular problems.
desire often isn’t spontaneous, especially in long-term relationships. It requires creating opportunities for arousal, much like being presented with an appealing stimulus. As Dr. Wright puts it, “It becomes about willingness to get turned on. That’s about creating desire.”
Frequently Asked Questions
What did Masters and Johnson contribute to our understanding of sex?
William Masters and Virginia Johnson developed a four-stage model of the sexual response cycle – arousal, plateau, orgasm, and resolution – and broke down taboos surrounding the open discussion of human sexuality.
How does desire differ between men and women?
In men, desire is often described as being like hunger, a direct physiological need. In women, especially in long-term relationships, desire is more often triggered by environmental cues, similar to being tempted by something appealing.
What role does stress play in sexual arousal?
Stress and anxiety can inhibit sexual arousal by activating the sympathetic nervous system (“fight or flight”), which constricts blood vessels and interferes with the physiological processes necessary for arousal.
Have you found that creating a specific environment or routine helps to foster a sense of desire and connection?